There are many stereotypes when it comes to differences between the sexes. Persistent stereotypes are that men are strong, they don't get their feelings hurt, and aren't as emotional as women. Guys tend to swallow their feelings and go with the flow, avoiding conflict when possible. That does not, however, mean that they love the pressure to act and behave in a socially acceptable way. Like with many stereotype casting, not being able to express their true feelings, does men a disservice. Suppressing their hurt and anger can lead to unhealthy behaviors. Some of those behaviors are toxic masculinity, a hatred of other men, and unhealthy behaviors. Although not much research has been done about the subject, when asked, there are common social graces that men report. Whether they engage by choice or coercion, some say it negates their authentic self.
What is Toxic Masculinity?
The term toxic masculinity refers to societal and cultural norms that define male traits negatively. It points to an inherent predisposition toward emotional suppression, dominance, and aggression. When questioned, many men reject the stereotype and are bothered that it tends to limit their ability to be authentic.
One of the main components of toxic masculinity is that men have a hard time dealing with and showing vulnerability. Vulnerability, according to toxic masculinity, is viewed as weak. This makes it difficult for men to express their feelings for fear of reprisal. This also leads to a situation of them not feeling comfortable seeking mental health services when they need it most. The fear of not being accepted by the community is a driving force for their behaviors of avoidance. The inability to obtain support help or ask for it, in general, can result in feelings of isolation and depression.
According to a longitudinal study conducted by the American Journal of Men’s Health in 2018, 322 men were examined to assess their ideation of masculine norms upon entering college. What researchers found was that masculine norms were both negatively and positively related to depression scores. Whereby, men who embraced norms had a heightened risk of depression, while men who endorsed lifting women as equals in society, had a lower rate of depression.
Lack of the Ability to Appear Vulnerable
Another prominent stereotype perpetuated by our society is that men are supposed to suppress their emotions and never show vulnerability. Being vulnerable or needing the help or support around them is viewed as weak. The result is that many men report that they fail to seek services when needed. Not being able to show their vulnerability not only hurts a man’s mental health, it also adversely affects their interpersonal skills. Once more, it hurts their ability to form close ties with other men.
Many men find making connections with the male sex challenging because when they form close ties, there is an emotional depth that might appear weak or be somehow less masculine. By pushing away male connections and failing to make true friendships, they are prone to feelings of isolation and depression. Over time, that can lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression.
A study conducted in 2017 by Public Med Central found that rejection sensitivity or lack of the ability to be vulnerable is a marker for depressive symptoms and can lead to the deterioration of a man’s mental wellness. It also can lead to miscommunication and breakdown of conflict resolution in relationships.
Competition Over Support
Men are taught that they need to be the best, brightest, strongest, and top of the mark for everything. That type of thinking perpetuates an “all for oneself” mentality. Toxic masculinity creates competition that overrides the notion of working together and supporting one another. Princeton did a study in 2020 where they reported that there is a double-edged sword created by fostering competition and downplaying the need for support for men within the masculine community.
The findings of the study were that competition helps to improve skills such as independence and excellence and is a powerful motivating tool. On the flip side, however, there is a risk of that competitive environment creating boundaries of limitations for men to show their authentic selves and develop supporting connections. Competition weakens the ties that can foster better mental health and reduce the risk of feelings of isolation and depression.
Body Shaming
When the term body shaming is broached, it is often associated with women. The reality is that it is both a problem in the feminine community and the male. The supreme difference is that body shaming is frowned upon, and the harms are understood about the woman's psyche. For men, however, there is a notion that they are supposed to somehow process what is said and not take offense or be hurt by it.
Men are expected to maintain a slim physique, more so than women. Ideation that anything past a lean body is somehow unacceptable and makes a man weak or unable to control themselves. Lack of control, once again, signals weakness. Perpetuating notions about how men’s bodies should be a standard, can lead to low self-esteem.
Many men feel the need to go on restrictive and unhealthy diets to obtain a standard of body acceptance. They also do not talk to others about their worries and anxiety about their outward appearance. It is not considered masculine to care about appearance; a man is somehow just supposed to be thin and fit. The need to have a standard for the way that one looks combined with the lack of ability to be vulnerable, can have a serious effect on their feelings of isolation. It can also predispose men to engage in unhealthy behaviors to obtain an unrealistic standard.
Gender Role Expectations
One of the most prevalent parts of male masculinity stereotypes is that there are acceptable gender roles and behaviors, and those that are not acceptable. The society holds that men are supposed to do the heavy lifting and perform traditionally masculine tasks. That makes many men feel restrained by what they can and cannot do.
Our understanding of how gender roles affect and limit both men and women is just coming to light. Gender is not binary, yet anything outside of the standard stereotype has been scorned. Society is just beginning to accept that men aren’t built for just one thing and women aren’t either. Women’s rights started as far back as the 70s, with a cry for equity. The same cannot be said for men.
Bro Code
Although it appears in no official handbook, there are unwritten rules about men’s behaviors when in public. Since they have been accepted for centuries, not much has been done to study stereotype's effects. Many men have confessed that they do not want to engage in sexist comments about their female counterparts, homophobia, or any other associated toxic masculinity traits and behaviors. But if they stand against the grain, they become the subject of scorn.
The Bro Code is so prevalent that there was a study conducted by the Office of Justice Programs in 2005, whereby researchers studied whether toxic masculinity was a barrier to mental health in prison situations. What they found was that the presence and persistence of a set and unspoken code of behaviors for men stops them from getting the mental health services they need. It also might be the catalyst of why some men end up in prison. The study concluded that toxic male masculinity is partially tied to why 90% of prison inmates are male. Reporting that men might just “go along” with other men and poor behaviors because the consequences of not doing so are more severe, and, in some instances, can be dangerous.
Poor Emotional Intelligence
A lot of research lately has revolved around emotional intelligence in relationships and how it is an asset in the workplace. Emotional intelligence is a measure of how well individuals can recognize, manage, and understand other people’s emotions. It is also highly corrected with empathy. Men report that being highly emotionally intelligent is not something to be celebrated and is something that is undervalued as a skill.
Homophobia
The term homophobia translates into the fear of homosexuality. Although the acceptance of homosexuality has risen substantially over the past decade, many men still subscribe to the toxic masculinity idea that having close relationships with other men, somehow means that you are masking your homosexuality. Once more, because it is looked down upon so greatly in the male community, any appearance of being a homosexual is not okay. That has led to dominant, aggressive, and harmful behaviors against homosexual men in the male community to squash any outward appearance that one might be hiding their sexuality.
Lack of Mental Health Support
With all of the stereotypic issues related to toxic masculinity, the real problem is that when men need it most to navigate how they are expected to behave, they have no resources to help. Mental health problems in the male population are one of the suspected underreported statistics in mental health. Since men are not supposed to seek or need support, they typically will not get the services they need. Over time, without assistance, that can lead to very serious health consequences.
The Notion of “Manning Up”
When a young boy hurts himself, the first thing that people say is that he should “walk it off.” Anything past a whimper is seen as being too emotional and dramatic, both attributes that are ascribed to women. The pressure to move along and not express hurt can become damaging. Hiding one’s feelings for fear of reprisal makes the individual suppress their true feelings. They put on a mask that can mask an unhealthy mental state.
Although men might behave as if they are in tune with the stereotypes ascribed to them, the truth is that they might not all be. Men are expected to carry on and behave in a certain way, and when they don’t, it can lead to scorn. Unfortunately, when they do, it can lead to feelings of isolation and depression. There is no doubt that more research and public awareness need to focus on letting people be people, regardless of their gender. If people can stop putting expectations and limitations on both sexes, it would be a much more mentally healthy world.
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