Everyone feels like an outsider every once in a while, but some people find themselves on the outside looking in as a lifestyle. Outsiders are people who walk to the beat of their own drum and seemingly don’t care what the other band members think. Although there are all types of people who share the outsider mentality, these are common traits that bind them.
Highly Sensitive
Outsiders tend to be sensitive to the plight of others. They aren’t trying to make you do or believe what you do, as they believe in the “you do you” mentality. It isn’t that they won’t join you in something; they just feel like individuality is the best way to be.
Empathetic
Outsiders tend to be empathetic by nature. They can feel the emotions of others and are respectful of them. People who appear to be on the outside know what it is like to be judged, and although they are okay with it, they also know that it can be a hard way to live. Being respectful is a complete way of life.
Loyal
When you are friends with an outsider, you can be assured they are there for life. Outsiders don’t bond with many people, so when they do, that bond is pure and lasting. They also will be the first in line to defend your reputation or your honor, and you don’t even have to ask.
Independent
Independence is the cornerstone of an outsider's personality. They not only don’t mind being alone; they prefer it. Because they tend to do things differently, their hobbies and most of their favorite things are best done alone.
Open-Minded
Outsiders are open-minded because they respect everyone's uniqueness. They are okay with seeing the point of view of others and don’t seek to spread their ideology or thoughts about things to the people around them. They are just fine with you having your opinion, and they are also open to hearing what it is without trying to convince you otherwise.
Introversion
The outsider personality is someone more comfortable alone than in the company of others. Introverts like to spend time alone and find being with others exhausting. Most outsiders spend a good bit of time on their own, by choice, and when they do engage in a crowd of people, they typically find one person to have a deep conversation with instead of small talk.
Avoidance Attachment
Outsiders tend to bond less closely with others and have an avoidance attachment style. They are loyal and kind, but they also keep their emotional distance. Although empathetic, they aren’t likely to pour their feelings or their hearts out to you. An outsider is okay with being who they are and will talk openly, but they will probably not be at your side 24/7.
Unique Hobbies and Likes
The outsider personality usually has hobbies and likes that differ from the mainstream. They also like to enjoy time doing those hobbies on their own. Don’t ignore their need to disappear for hours on end collecting rocks. It isn’t that they don’t want you there; it is just that they are focused on what they do best.
Quirky Humor
Most outsiders have quirky or different humor than others. They often can laugh at things other people don’t think are funny. However, as part of a larger emotional expression, their humor can be dry and difficult to understand.
Don’t Care What Others Think
Whether through learned experiences in youth or just a part of their personality, most outsiders don’t care what other people think of them. They have a solid sense of self, and they don’t judge their worth or notion of normalcy based on what others perceive.
Eccentricity
Most people would describe an outsider as being slightly strange or not normal. It is because they do things unconventionally or against the grain. They aren’t guided by the same norms that others think are important, so they do things the way they want, not as expected.
Detached Style
It can sometimes be hard to be in a relationship with a loner specifically because they enjoy their time alone so much. Again, it isn’t that they don’t like the company of others; they just process communication differently, and it can come off as aloof.
No Need for Approval
Outsiders typically do not thrive on gaining the approval of others. It would appear that they don’t require it at all. They don’t do things the way that other people do, nor do they try. Sometimes, in a relationship, that can be hard because they won’t act or behave as you might expect them to, which makes predictability difficult.
Adaptable
The outsider personality is very good at adapting to their outside environment. Because they are less guided by approval and acceptable, they aren’t always looking to see what is expected of them; they just do what they feel at the time. It is almost a freeing look at life; outsiders do what they want, when they want, without any desire to please others.
Expresses Emotion Differently
Outsiders aren’t as emotionally driven as most. They aren’t quick to show you large displays of affection or emotion, which can sometimes be difficult if you are in a relationship with them. People usually guide their actions according to the needs of those around them, but outsiders typically don’t. That can be hard to process for someone who doesn’t think the same way as the outsider.
What Are the Difficulties of Relationships With Outsiders?
Relationships rely on relying on another person to be the go-to. Outsiders typically do not easily predict or understand what they are thinking. If you are in a relationship with someone who is okay with being on their own or actually prefers it, it can be hard not to take it personally. Although it can be difficult, recognize that an outsider acts as they do not because of you or your behavior; they do so because of their personality traits.
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