First dates are a nerve-wracking affair. You want to make a good impression, but you don’t want to try so hard you make a complete fool of yourself. It’s a situation where balance and awareness are necessary to give you a chance of getting another date. There are common mistakes men make on a first date, so here is a list you can use to avoid the 19 traps men fall into on a first date.
Overthinking the Outfit
You are going on a formal date, so consider appropriate attire for the location. Don’t think about it too much; it will make you self-conscious, and you won’t be able to enjoy yourself.
Talking too Much About Yourself
The person you're meeting will want to know about you, but also listen and allow them to talk. Your date will think you are selfish if you only talk about yourself. First impressions count; don’t ruin their opinion of you through nerves.
Bringing Up Ex-Relationships
No one cares about your ex except for you. If you spend the night talking about a previous relationship, there's no second date. You have to move on and start fresh. Constantly mentioning your exes will give the impression you aren’t emotionally available.
Being Overly Complimentary
Giving compliments is great, but there is no need to go overboard. Too many compliments will come across as creepy. Listen and be attentive to show you’re interested, but don’t drop in comments about their looks and clothes at every opportunity.
Checking Your Phone too Often
Checking on your phone is rude in most circumstances, but even more so when on a first date. It makes you look uninterested and will be taken personally. Unless you need it for an emergency, turn your phone off.
Drinking too Much
Getting drunk will ruin your night. A first date is not the place to show how much you can drink. It isn’t attractive, and your date will think you have a drinking problem. Slowly have one or two and enjoy the night without relying on alcohol to get you through.
Not Asking Enough Questions
Asking questions shows that you want to know more about them and their life. There is the potential to end up in a relationship with this person, so you should be willing to discover more about them. Being inquisitive doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but let your curiosity flow without coming across as interviewing them.
Arriving Late
It isn’t difficult to arrive on time. Leave earlier than you would normally so you don’t leave your date hanging around. Not only is it rude, but they may take offense and decide to go before you have even reached the meeting point.
Ignoring Social Cues
It will be the first time you have met your date, so be aware of boundaries and how to behave appropriately. If they want personal space, you must respect it. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you, but they could just be anxious around a person they’ve only just met. Be aware of body language and word choice to give hints on how to behave.
Being too Agreeable
Being too agreeable will come across as needy and not having a mind of your own. You can disagree with someone without coming across as argumentative. If you aren’t comfortable with doing something, you don’t have to go along with it.
Forgetting Basic Manners
The person you are on a date with doesn’t know you, so being too relaxed and lacking in manners will leave a poor impression. They’re not going to want a second date if they think you’re rude or can’t eat your dinner without sticking to the basics of table etiquette.
Discussing Controversial Topics
Be alert to social cues when discussing certain topics. Your date isn’t going to be impressed by your views on how the country should be run until they get to know you better. There will also be topics that they may not want to discuss at all; show awareness and stick to easy conversation points.
Being Overly Physical
Be aware of and respect boundaries. Physical touch is not always welcome, even less so with a stranger.
Talking About Future Plans
You've just met, so don’t start planning your future. It will be perceived as creepy, and you can’t possibly be planning a future with someone you barely know. Excitement is healthy. Talking about getting married on a tropical island is not.
Bragging About Achievements
Humility is one of the most attractive traits a person can have. If you have achieved a lot, that’s fantastic, but you don’t need to mention it every second sentence. Your date wants to learn about your personality, not how many times you’ve won a local golfing competition.
Not Paying Attention to the Date’s Interests
One of the best things about dating is learning new things, even if the date doesn’t go anywhere. Listen to what they have to say even if you’ve never had any previous interest in the topic. Being dismissive of or not paying attention to their interests is rude.
Rushing Through the Date
Don’t worry about the time when you’re on a date. If you have something to do after, you haven’t scheduled it properly. Rushing will come across as rude, and that you want to end the date as soon as possible. Plans don’t have to be strictly followed, so let the evening take a natural flow.
Not Following Up Appropriately
The date may or may not have been successful, but you should respect the other person. If you’re interested, then let them know; if not, you still need to tell them. Don’t get angry and throw a tantrum if they aren’t interested. It’s just a part of dating and isn’t personal. Following up appropriately will earn you respect.
Talking About Money
If you have a lot of money, don't brag about it. You might not have much money, but there’s equally no need to inform your date you can barely afford dinner. Leave financial talk to a later time.
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