We hear so much about toxic masculinity, but what about toxic femininity? Is it even a thing? Apparently, it is, and recently, people have started becoming more aware of ways in which femininity can have its own toxic side, too. Toxic femininity describes traditional behaviors and expectations associated with women that can be harmful to others and society as a whole. Here‘s a list of 18 examples of toxic femininity.
Shaming Stay-at-Home Mothers
Feminism has done great things for the freedom and equal rights of women. However, because women’s rights to equal pay and employment have been so fiercely fought for, some women experience a feeling of shame for preferring to be full-time mothers and care for their children at home. This is a major example of toxic femininity, and some women judge others harshly simply because they choose to be the sole carers for their children. But, it is up to each individual how they choose to parent their offspring, and/or manage their careers, and no one should be shamed for favoring motherhood over the boardroom.
Shaming Childless Women
While some females view the ability to give birth as a woman's greatest gift that shouldn’t be “wasted,” others may not have a maternal instinct or, for a plethora of complex and private reasons, may not wish to have children. Often, childless women will face judgment or criticism from mothers who already have kids, but this is just another example of toxic femininity, as no one has the right to judge anyone for such a deeply personal and private decision.
Playing the Victim
As controversial as it might sound, some women do embellish the characteristics of feminity as a way to invoke victimhood, and many view this as another example of toxic femininity.
Ignorance About Female Abusers
Narratives that aim to deny or dispute the fact that women can also be perpetrators of abuse, including physical, domestic, and sexual abuse, are cited as another example of toxic femininity. Although statistics show that women are usually less likely to be abusers in these categories, they also show that women are indeed capable and have been found culpable of such crimes on many occasions.
Passive-Aggressiveness
Although women are renowned for being less physically aggressive, one aspect of toxic femininity that’s been highlighted is passive-aggressiveness. By making subtle negative comments and judgments or excluding others, women can display toxic traits that appear passive but are still deemed as low-level aggression.
Emotional Manipulation
Females are used to being in positions where they hold emotional power over others, and as grandmothers, wives, sisters, and mothers, women have been accused of sometimes taking advantage of this power and using it to emotionally manipulate others.
Sexually Manipulative
Women have been accused of using sex as a weapon and playing on their sexual attractiveness to get what they want or to acquire gifts, presents, and money from naive men who fall for their charms.
Gossiping
Another toxic trait of femininity is gossiping and attacking other women behind their backs in an attempt to devalue them. Often, women will do this whenever they feel intimidated or jealous of another female, and it’s just toxic behavior that serves no purpose.
Ridiculing Men for Vulnerability
While we hear a lot of women vocalizing their wish for men to be more vulnerable, we also hear women putting men down for doing just that. Mocking men for displaying their more sensitive side and calling them names like “a wimp” is a prime example of toxic femininity.
Traditional Roles at Their Convenience
While feminists might argue that men should be doing housework equally, such as cooking and cleaning, often women will relegate men’s household chores to the “dirty work’ such as emptying the trash, or gardening.
Shaming Single Women
Even though one of the famous slogans of feminism is “You don’t need a man,” some women actively shame other females who are living their lives as single, happy women.
C-Section Judgement
Would you believe that some women actually judge others who give birth via cesarean section? Apart from the fact that it is often a medical necessity, this goes against many of the core values of femininity, as women and mothers are supposed to offer each other support and encouragement.
Competing for Male Attention
Even though many women claim to be “girls-girls,” once an attractive man comes into the picture, things can quickly change, and women can compete against each other for male attention, often resulting in them stabbing each other in the back, or betraying friendships in the process.
Breast Feeding Superiority
This is another quite embarrassing example of toxic femininity, but in some instances, women will shame new moms who, for whatever reason, choose to feed their babies with formula milk instead of breastfeeding. Despite the fact that not all women are capable of breastfeeding, it is truly sad that women would shame each other in this way.
Female Jealousy
Although we hear terms like “sisterhood” banded about a lot, another example of toxic femininity is female jealousy. Unfortunately, women can be fiercely jealous and competitive against each other. Whether it's in the workplace or while vying for the attention of a man, this is toxic femininity at its worst.
Male Validation
As much as some women might claim that “they don’t need a man,” another aspect of toxic femininity is wanting to be validated by men as being sexually attractive and dressing or behaving in such a way that could be classed as provocative or promiscuous.
Attacking the Other Woman
If a man cheats on a woman, in some cases, instead of attacking her partner, a woman will attack the other female instead. Even though the male in the situation was the one who bore a commitment to the relationship, toxic femininity will often see females who have been cheated on seeking revenge on “the other woman.”
Calling Other Women Promiscuous
Feminists campaigned throughout the 1960s for the sexual liberation of women, and with the invention of the pill, many women were freed from previous traditional constraints of sex and unwanted pregnancy. However, still today, elements of toxic femininity seek to shame and judge other women as “promiscuous” if they choose to embrace their sexuality and enjoy similar sexual freedoms as men.
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