Almost all romantic relationships have a natural progression from lust to true love. At first, things are usually intense and romantic, and then lives, schedules, and comfortability set in. Being comfortable in a relationship is a very safe feeling, but sometimes playing it safe isn’t exactly what you want all the time. If you feel like your romantic love has fallen by the wayside and you want to try to rekindle some of the heat you once had, these are proactive ways to spice things up.
Send Little Love Notes
You have a cell phone; use it. Where once you used to send each other cute little love notes throughout the day, now they are probably replaced by questions like “What do you want for dinner?” If you want to start falling back in love again, send them messages about appreciation, about how hot you still think they are, and let them know that they are still running through your mind in a good way. A little goes a long way when it comes to communicating.
Send Gifts
No matter what someone’s love language is, who doesn’t love a surprise gift? Send them their favorite snack from Uber during the day, find a t-shirt that will make them smile, or even a gag gift to make them laugh. When things become predictable in a relationship, you have to change things up and make them less so. Giving gifts shows someone how much you mean to them.
Touch Frequently
When you are dating, it is new, fresh, and flirtatious. Part of flirting is physical touch, and at first, you probably couldn’t keep your hands off of one another. It is essential to heat things in the bedroom, but at the heart of intimacy are the little touches that mean so much. Grab your partner's hand in the car, wrap their arm around you on the couch, and sit on the same side at the restaurant. When space starts to build between two people in a relationship, one has to make the first move to remove it.
Make Time for Two
Life gets in the way of a relationship, necessarily. Where once making time for the two of you was probably the number one priority, as time passes, you become comfortable in your relationship and stop making that really special and targeted time to reconnect. As ridiculous as it may sound, make an actual “date night” where nothing and no one comes to get in the way. Commit to go out and have fun, just the two of you. Go back to the old days when all you needed was two bar stools and one another.
Reconnect by Talking About Goals
One of the ways that people connect and build emotional ties to one another is through goal sharing. When you feel like you are growing in the same direction, there is a unison. Over time, goals and dreams change and alter necessarily. If you don’t take the time to dream together, you might start dreaming alone, which can put you on separate paths for the future. Discuss what your mate wants going forward instead of assuming things are status quo. Also, share what you want with them because sharing really is caring.
Listen
Once you get through the stage where both of you have told your repertoire of funny stories about growing up and going through the basics of your life before meeting, it can leave a lull in the conversation. With the mundane nature of being with someone every day, you can begin to stop listening and turn one another off. Take the time to put your phones away, turn off the television, and just talk again. Sharing deeply and emotionally about what is going on in each other’s lives will rebuild intimacy. Often, we think that nothing is going on, but unless you ask, you won’t know.
Show Up for Them
It is the little things that make you fall back in love, like going the extra mile. If you know that they have something at work where they are going to be showcased, or they have an event that they haven’t bothered to invite you to because it is no big deal, make it a big deal. One of the reasons couples stay in love is because they trust and rely on one another. Show them that you are there to “show up” for them, not just at the start but until the end.
Find a Netflix Show to Binge Watch
Whether it is Apple TV, Netflix, or Hulu, find a show that you can both get wrapped up in. Something is exciting about the anticipation of the next show. Sharing that anticipation can help to unite the two of you back together. Even if it is just staring at a television, it is a bonding experience to go through the emotions of a television series. And it is also a show of respect that you are willing to wait for one another and make time to watch it together.
Find a Hobby to Share
Because watching television is not a hobby, find an actual one. Whether that is taking a cooking class or hiking, find something that you enjoy doing together that is away from the mundaneness of your life. Having a shared interest is something that allows you time together to do something you do that is shared and yours.
Go Away Overnight
Sometimes, it can be complicated with money limitations and obligations to take an entire weekend off, but one night is probably something you can swing. By changing the scenery, you can change your mindset, and you just might see each other in a whole new light. Once more, surprise your mate by making all the plans. Then, all they have to do is pack an overnight bag, and you can hit the road for romance.
Take Something off of Their Plate
When we are overloaded, it is hard to be “in love” because we are just putting out fires. Instead of complaining about their lack of attention or time, find ways to work your way into their routine. If you can help them out and take something off of their plate, you will have time with them. If you can remove a stressor, then a less stressed person would be much more lovely to be around. You are probably both overworked, so try to find a way to work together to ease things.
Compliments go a Long Way
When was the last time that you complimented your partner? Something as simple as “I love your hair” to “You look beautiful today” can go a very long way to rekindling love. When you start to take one another for granted, you stop realizing how lucky you are to have your mate in your life. People often become blind to what they have as time goes on. When that happens, niceties can fall by the wayside. Commit to giving at least one genuine compliment a day or pointing out one quality that you love in your significant other. Positivity is what love is all about, and you can turn a neutral or even negative vibe around really quickly by seeing who you fell in love with. Not only will compliments flatter and boost their self-esteem, but it will consciously make you see all that you love to begin with.
Give Them Some Space
Although it would seem counterintuitive to let someone have more space when you feel love slipping, remembering who you are individually and having a life outside of the relationship will breathe it new life. When you spend 24/7 with someone, it becomes monotonous and routine. When you do things without one another, absence does make the heart grow fonder. It also allows you to see your mate as something other than just your mate again.
Do Things to Better Yourself
Sometimes, we focus so much on trying to bring love back that we fail to see we need to give some love to ourselves. It is a true saying that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Throw a little energy into being the best version of yourself, and you will soon see that you’ll be happier. When you are happier, your mate will be too. You can’t hold on so tight trying to repair something until you know you deserve the same love you give.
As relationships progress there are necessary various stages that they will go through. If you feel like you are missing a key ingredient and looking for ways to fall in love again, it is really just about remembering why you fell in love to begin with. Life can get chaotic, and people can start to lose focus and take advantage of one another. Slow things down, take time and make it a point to make your loved one a priority. Just a little bit of putting yourself out there and making the first move to reconnect should make a world of difference.
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