Most of us want to be respected by our peers and the community as a whole, but we are all fallible. Respect is not something that people come by naturally just for being themselves; it is something that you have to earn through your words and actions. If you want to gain the respect of those around you, then these are things that you should avoid. Once respect is lost, it is hard to get back, so try to live a respectable life right from the start.
Cutting in Front of Others
When there is a line, you can be guaranteed that no one wants to be there. Those who think that their time is more important, however, tend to make their way to the front of the line as if they deserve to the there. When you cut a line, you cross a line and tell everyone that you believe yourself to be more important. That is a surefire way to lose the respect of everyone who is waiting patiently.
Getting so Drunk You Make a Fool of Yourself
Many people can remember a time when they were over-served, or maybe they can’t because they were too inebriated to remember. Do you know who does remember? Everyone standing around watching you. Whether you are in a crowded bar, a concert, or goodness forbid the holiday party at work, you might get one pass. Just because people get over it, however, that doesn’t mean they forget. Most likely, if you fell off a barstool with your skirt up over your head, you lost some respect.
Losing it at Customer Service People
Customer service people are a special breed. Their entire job is to deal with people who have a problem. That means they deal with people who are mad all day long. It isn’t that we can’t all lose our cool when we are upset or frustrated, but if someone is being kind to you in any capacity and you are rude, nasty, and make it personal, people in attendance will not respect your behavior. They will probably lose respect for you.
Being the Complainer
Everyone complains; it is just a part of being human. The person who can’t seem to step off of the complain-train is walking around making everyone in their wake miserable. Like a little misery virus, those who can’t take the time to look around and respect the fact that no one wants to hear them have a problem if they think they are going to be respected. People who want respect have to respect those around them, so stop the misery train and be happy.
Not Taking Accountability
One of the hardest words for some people in the English language, well, really any language, is “sorry.” It is hard to respect someone who won’t take responsibility for their actions or how those actions hurt someone else. Being humble is about recognizing how you affect others. Even if you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings or do something wrong, not recognizing your part is not respectable. Own up to your faults if you want people to respect you.
Being Dishonest
People who want to be respected have to have something called “integrity.” Without integrity, there is no respect because you aren’t respecting the code we all live by. If you want someone to respect you in a relationship, not being honest or being fast and loose with the truth will not get you anywhere. Disrespecting others by lying will bring disrespect back tenfold.
Arrogance
Nothing is respectable about being arrogant. Those who are arrogant believe they are better than everyone else simply because they are them. Again, respect needs to be earned, and if you walk around taking credit for just being you or acting entitled in all that you do, there isn’t a soul on earth who is going to respect your arrogant behavior.
Lacking Empathy
Respecting others and being respected is about how you treat those around you. If you lack empathy and can’t or don’t at least try to understand how someone feels, that isn’t being respectful of their feelings. Respect is a reciprocal thing, and without that reciprocality, it isn’t going to flow either way. If you want someone to respect you, be respectful enough to care how they feel, period.
Spreading Rumors
One of the ugliest things that humans do is gossip. Gossip is when you hear something, and instead of getting to the truth of what you heard, you assume that it is valid. Once more, people who gossip not only believe it, they spread it to other people. It is hard to respect someone who would so callously tell things to others about someone else without at least giving the person the right to defend themselves. That is not respectable at all.
Being Unreliable
It is hard to respect someone who is unpredictable, and you never know which way the wind will blow with them. Respect is about being solid and reliable. If you aren’t those things to the people around you, they will not respect you. Things like not showing up, taking responsibility for the things that you are supposed to, or dropping the ball when people are expecting you to do something all breed disrespect.
Bragging
It is okay to be proud of your accomplishments, but you have to let them shine on their own. It is very hard to respect someone who is begging for it. When you brag, it means that you don’t have faith that what you did will speak for itself. You have to self-promote. For those around you who don’t feel the need to toot their own horn, it takes you down a notch in their respect level.
Having an Emotional Meltdown
Respectable people have themselves together, and they can separate their emotions from a situation. When you have an emotional meltdown and say everything you want to without thinking about how your words affect others, that can make people lose respect. If you drag people down with you by calling them out, that is just one more nail in your respect coffin.
Poor Hygiene
It is hard to respect someone who smells so bad that you don’t even want to be around them. Hygiene is not just for you. It is for everyone else, too. When you don’t take care of how you affect others by showering and cleaning your body, it isn’t fair or nice. It really isn’t a difficult thing to do. If you can’t respect your body enough to clean it up, how do you expect people to respect you?
Being Overly Aggressive
When you are aggressive, it makes other people uncomfortable. Most people have had, on occasion, become a little more aggressive and use too much force. If it is your go-to standard, however, then it will be hard for people in your life to respect you. Being aggressive is a manipulation tactic that is meant to threaten others. There's nothing respectable about making a life of behaving that way.
Making Traffic Rules Optional
Much like waiting in line, when you use the rules of the road as “optional,” it says that you think you are somehow entitled to break the rules. There is a reason why rules exist, and they are usually to keep everyone safe. When you blatantly break them in the presence of others, they are silently judging you and taking notes.
Smoking or Vaping Where You’re Not Supposed to be
Most people believe that if you want to do something that will harm you, that is your prerogative. When you do things, however, that hurt the people around you without concern, that takes things a bit too far. Smoking not only stinks, but it is unhealthy for you and for anyone you are exposing smoking to. If you want people to respect you, respect the no smoking sign and put your butt out until you are in private.
Answering Your Mobile in Public
It is kind of an unwritten rule that you should be cognizant of talking loudly on the phone when other people are around. When your cell phone has an obnoxious ring that alerts everyone, and then you hop on the call, and we all have to hear about your date last night, that isn’t respecting anyone’s personal space. Put your phone on silence and text, “I’m in the middle of something,” and you will find much more respect from those around you.
Being a Close Talker
Most people have a buffer of personal space that they want to keep around themselves, especially when they don’t know people. If you are a close-talker or ignore other people’s need for social distance, that is not respectable. Keep an acceptable amount of space in public, and you will find more respect than when you are invading others' comfort zones.
Making Light of Someone’s Misfortune
As human beings, no one should relish in the misfortune of others, and if you do, you will lose all respect. Empathy is a trait that is respectable, and when you don’t have it and poke fun at someone who is suffering, there is no way that people around you will respect your behavior. There’s nothing funny about someone’s hurt, so let it be.
Respect is something that most people want to have, but not everyone is willing to work for it. If you want to be an upstanding citizen, then act like one. Acting a fool, being intrusive, or thinking you are better than everyone simply for being you isn’t going to get you the respect you want. It will get you the exact opposite.
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