Everyone enjoys receiving compliments, right? But what if a little shade is thrown in with some of those apparent “words of praise?” Sometimes, people will give us compliments that might seem complimentary at first but actually end up feeling more like a subtle insult or criticism. It’s important to remember that any person who feels compelled to put others down through veiled insults, disguised as compliments, is masking some kind of jealousy or aggression, and it’s a sign that you are dealing with a deeply insecure person. Here are 18 compliments that come with a sting in the tail.
“You look great today, it’s amazing what a little makeup can do.”
At first, you might feel like this person is complimenting your appearance by telling you that you look great, which is a positive thing. However, the second part of the “compliment” highlights the person's true intentions as it appears to suggest that you only look so good because you have applied makeup. Meow.
“You’re so brave to wear something like that.”
Although this sounds positive initially, what this person is actually trying to say behind the false facade of a compliment is that your outfit is in some way “over the top” or not appropriate for the occasion.
“Wow, I didn’t know that you were so smart.”
If you tell someone about some kind of achievement, like, for example, that you have a degree, and they respond with this kind of low-grade shade, it’s time for you to recognize that this person may not be as genuine towards you as you first thought.
“I love how you’re so confident for your size.”
If someone attempts to tell you that you are anything “for your size” this signifies an immediate lack of self-awareness and understanding, or that they are attempting to put you down in some respect. Ignore such insecure people, and live your life.
“Your new profile picture is beautiful, I didn’t recognize you at first.”
This person is basically saying that your new profile pic is so beautiful that it doesn’t look like you, inferring in some way that you are not that beautiful. Thanks, but, eh, no thanks.
“You look really nice in this light.”
Gee, thanks. Do I not look nice without it? This would be a funny but direct way to highlight to a person that you can see their attempt at a back-handed compliment but that you aren’t accepting it; in fact, you’re going to make a joke of it and make them look stupid.
“You’re not as dumb as you look.”
This is a classic backhanded compliment, telling you that you look dumb and smart at the same time. Thanks for the friendly support, bro.
“I love how you just don’t care what anyone thinks of you.”
This negative complement is somehow trying to suggest that whatever you are doing is weird or inappropriate in an attempt to undermine your sense of confidence and self-esteem, when actually, the fact that someone feels so intimated by you to attack you in this way indicates that you must be doing something right.
“I don’t care what others say about you. You’re alright in my book.”
This statement is designed to make you think that other people are speaking negatively about you behind your back. Don’t fall for this lame and insecure provocation; laugh it off and show them you aren’t affected by their transparent attempts at manipulation.
“Your Instagram makes you seem so fun!”
Because you couldn’t really be that fun in real life? Right? Well, you aren’t going to have much fun if you’re spending time around Debbie Downers like this person.
“I didn’t expect you to get the job – Congratulations!”
A lame attempt to take a jibe at your abilities and achievements. This double-edged compliment reeks of jealousy; a real friend would say, “By the way, congratulations on the new job! You deserve it.”
“I wish I was as relaxed as you are about messiness.”
Well, we all wish that this person would get some self-awareness and stop being an insecure woo-woo who tries to offend people with back-handed compliments, but we guess you can’t have it all.
“You’re so charming when you make an effort.”
Another friendly jibe disguised as a compliment. This comment tells us all that we need to know about the person who said it, you’re charming personality has clearly pricked their jealousy on some level, so if I were you, I would just keep being fabulous and say, “I know, thanks!”
“Those earrings are so nice. My grandma would love them.”
The best response to this sly dig would probably be something like, “I know they are vintage Cartier darling, a timeless, classic,” OK, so it’s not true, but a girl has got to have a good comeback against these mean girl jibes!
“Your house feels so cozy and lived in.”
This is obviously mean girl code for “your house looks messy,” which is also code for “I’m an insecure person, and I’m really jealous of your lovely home, so I must find a way to put you down to make myself feel better.” Girl, bye.
“You’re pretty…on the inside.”
A not-so-subtle attempt to infer that you are somehow not pretty on the outside; our response would be, “Wow, thanks, you really know how to make a person feel good about themselves.”
“That’s not the ugliest shirt I’ve seen you wear.”
Another debase attempt to make you feel insecure about your outfit, when we all know that the most insecure person in the room just uttered this sentence. Ciao.
“You might not be the prettiest, but you’re definitely the funniest!”
The best way to deal with back-handed compliments such as these is to laugh it off because this person’s aim is to somehow lower your self-esteem, just enough to raise their own, which is ultimately, a pretty sad indication that someone is deeply unhappy in their own life. Wish them healing, and keep it pushing.
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