Although most people fall in various places on the spectrum of introvert versus extrovert, some people fall well on the side of liking their alone time. If you aren’t sure where you fall, these are 18 things that introverts despise that can signal that you are better off being on your own. Being introverted isn’t about not liking people or being antisocial; it is just about being okay with quiet time and being all on your own.
Being “On” all the Time
If you prefer staying in and watching a movie over going to the hottest concert with fifty of your closest friends, that doesn’t mean that you don’t like music or people. Introverts are just as happy cuddling up on the couch with a great movie or book as they are in a crowd of people signing to their favorite singer. Not everyone wants to be “on” all the time. Some people choose to stay in and don’t find sacrifice in it.
Superficial or Small Talk
Introverts are not excited by small or shallow talk. If they are going to engage with someone, they want that time to be meaningful. An introvert would rather avoid social situations altogether than feign interest in something that they are not interested in. If you are someone who skips past the superficial to find a philosophical debate in the corner, you are probably an introvert.
Talking on the Phone
Introverts are not that into “catching up,” as in a quick chat. They avoid any telephone conversation that is shallow and disrupts their day. If they want to truly catch up with someone, they would rather plan dinner and drinks and spend the time talking about things that matter. They are also very intuitive and like to read body language, which you can't do on the phone.
Being on the Go All Weekend
The free time on the weekend is an introvert's time to recoup, rejuvenate, and get away from people at the office and on the commute. If you are someone who takes your weekend as a time to do quiet things and take time alone, then you are probably an introvert. After being social all week long, many introverts just want not to have to talk or engage with anyone. They spend their weekend days and nights preparing for the long social week ahead.
Avoiding the Biggest Social Events of the Season
Where extraverts shine is in the midst of a crowd and being the center of attention. Many introverts not only don’t look forward to the social events of the season, but they will do anything to get out of going to them. Being in a large crowd of people who are engaging in superficial talk is a nightmare for introverts who crave real connection. Big events and lots of people cause great anxiety for those who would rather be at home.
Public Transportation
It isn’t just that introverts aren’t all that into small talk, but they also want their physical distance. If you are someone who hates public transportation, sitting next to people you don’t know, and fighting crowds to find a seat, then you are probably an introvert. Often, introverts will do whatever they can to drown out the noise of others, such as using headphones or staring into their devices to avoid contact with others.
People Just Stopping By
Some people love to have surprise visitors; typically, introverts do not. When someone is in the neighborhood, introverts hope that they will keep on driving and text, “I just passed your home.” Introverts need time to prepare for visitors. They aren’t happy when you just show up to check in. They typically draw clear lines about what is free time and what is their time, and if you don’t have scheduled time with an introvert, it isn’t your time.
Large Groups
Introverts are not comfortable in large groups of people. They prefer one on one time. Often, introverts try to find places to hide in a crowd when they feel uncomfortable. An introvert would much rather spend the night catching up with an old friend or a quiet night alone than vying for the attention of many people who are randomly talking with one another.
Going Out of Your Way to Talk to Someone
If you are the type of person who sees someone you know in the grocery store and ducks and hides rather than seeking them out to say “Hello,” then you are probably an introvert. It isn’t that introverts don’t like to see people they haven’t seen in a while, but only on their terms. They have to prepare carefully to be with people, and they don’t like being caught off guard and having to scramble to find something to talk about.
Being Asked Questions Like “Why are You So Quiet?”
Introverts don’t see themselves as quiet, but they are keenly aware that they only talk when they have something to say. If you ask them why they are so quiet, it is like pointing out the fact that they would rather not be there or that they simply don’t have anything to say. Introverts don’t like to be called out or to be exposed to the fact that they just don’t want to talk sometimes. Talking is not something that comes naturally for all, and for an introvert, not having anything to say feels like torture.
Something that Disrupts the “Plan”
Introverts like predictability and the ability to prepare. When someone throws a wrench into their plans or changes things up at the last minute, that causes an introvert a lot of stress. It takes a lot of mental energy for an introvert to prepare for a night out, and when they feel like things just took a turn, that can leave them feeling out of control and anxious about what’s to come.
Being Mistook for Being Shy
Introverts are not necessarily shy. They don’t have a problem talking to others. They are just selective in who they want to throw their energy into. If they are appearing “shy,” it is likely that they just don’t have much to say about something or in a particular situation. When you say they are shy, that negates the fact that they are choosing to be quiet, not out of fear or shyness, but simply because they want to be.
Overly Stimulating Places
Introverts don’t like too much stimulation. It takes enough energy for them to stand in a crowd of people or to be outside of their comfort zone. When you throw in loud noises, bright lights, and other chaos, that can put it over the edge. Introverts aren’t good with a whole lot of messaging and stimuli coming at them from all areas and places.
Forced Groups
Some introverts are selective about who they want to engage with and throw their energy into knowing. When they have to engage in group projects at work or in school, they aren’t receptive to it. Having to be social when they aren’t feeling like being social can be a nightmare for an introvert who likes to control their interactions and only talk with those who they feel comfortable talking with.
Given the Third Degree
Introverts tend to like to take getting to know someone slowly. They often stay on the outskirts, getting to know someone until they allow their true personality out. An introvert does not like being given the third degree when they walk into a conversation. If you are not comfortable with people who bombard you with questions that ask for you to be self-disclosed too quickly, you are probably an introvert.
Meetings That Could Have Been an Email
Not everyone likes the company meetings and bouncing things off of one another. Introverts are people who like to use their time with others wisely. If a meeting could have been done over email, they would often see that time as a waste. If you have something to say, say it with an email. They don’t want to sit around and chit-chat when there are better and more important things that need to get done.
Being Available
An introvert doesn’t mind having responsibilities and knowing when it is company time. But they also take their time seriously and don’t like when the two meld into one. Being on call all of the time and never truly letting their guard down, knowing that they are on personal time, is extremely draining for an introvert. They take the separation of “my time” and “work time” seriously and don’t like it when they intersect.
When People Take Their Solitude as a Personal Offense
Many introverts are keenly aware that they don’t make themselves entirely available all of the time. They miss many important events and know that they don’t always follow through. When someone in their lives takes their absence at an event as a personal affront, it can make an introvert feel bad. Most of the reason why introverts stay alone as much as they do is because they are highly empathetic, and it is draining to absorb the feelings of others and care as much as they do. That is why they go out very infrequently, but the last thing they want is to make someone else feel bad.
Are You an Introvert?
Introverts are people who have to be prepared for conversation and don’t like to be thrust into situations where they are not prepared. If you are someone who prefers cuddling up on a couch and watching Netflix over having the best seats to a concert, then you are probably high on the introvert scale, and that is okay! Not everyone wants to be on all of the time.
30 Traditional Sayings That Are Now Considered Offensive by Woke Culture
30 Traditional Sayings That Are Now Considered Offensive by Woke Culture
21 Habits Often Associated With Having a Lower Social Status
21 Habits Often Associated With Having a Lower Social Status
25 Social Issues Gen Z are Determined to Cancel
