If you want to ensure that your host invites you back to dinner at a future date, it’s important to stick to a certain amount of unwritten social rules. Most of us don’t have any problems adhering to a bit of dinner-worthy etiquette, but just in case you’re not too sure about how to act, cast your eyes over the following list. By avoiding these etiquette breaches, you can ensure you’re remembered for all the right reasons and always have an open invitation.
Arriving Late
It might be your best friend or your cousin, but that doesn’t mean you should slacken your moral code. Punctuality shows respect for your host's time and effort. Arriving late can throw off plans and make everyone wait, causing unnecessary stress. No one wants to eat their entrée in a tense atmosphere. The rule of thumb is often to turn up a little earlier.
Ignoring RSVP Requests
If your host has sent an invite and asked you to RSVP, then RSVP. Failing to do so leaves hosts guessing about how many people to prepare for, leading to either a shortage or surplus of food and seating. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how stressful it would be if everyone failed to reply.
Bringing Uninvited Guests
Does your invite offer a Plus One? Showing up with extra people can overwhelm your hosts and stretch resources thin. Always check if you can bring a plus-one beforehand and don’t just assume it’ll be fine. It might well be doable but again, try to imagine everyone having the same idea. What would that look like?
Showing Up Unannounced
There’s every chance you’ve got an invite but if you haven’t, dropping by without warning can catch hosts off guard and unprepared. A simple heads-up call or text ensures they’re ready to welcome you properly. It’s a little rude to expect a seat at the table and it won’t do you any favors.
Overstaying Your Welcome
Knowing when to leave is crucial. Staying too long can exhaust your hosts and signal a lack of awareness or respect for their time. If the host doesn’t make it clear when it’s coming to an end, read the room. Are people yawning? Is the conversation winding down? You can usually get a feel for when it’s time to get your coat and leave them to load the dishwasher.
Failing to Offer Help
Offering to help with setup, serving, or cleanup shows appreciation for your host’s efforts. The majority of dinner party hosts want to treat you as a guest and will likely reject your offer, but if you can see your host struggling, it’s always polite to ask the question. Ignoring opportunities to assist can come off as entitled or inconsiderate.
Criticizing the Food
The biggest no-no of all. Making negative comments about the food can hurt your host’s feelings and will cause a bad atmosphere. Even if it’s not to your taste, find something positive to say or keep quiet. Once you leave, you’re free to wax lyrical but there’s a time and a place.
Not Bringing a Gift
Bringing a small gift, like a bottle of wine or flowers, is a thoughtful gesture that shows gratitude for your host. It doesn’t matter if you’re the only one who does so, it’s better to look generous than empty-handed and unappreciative.
Taking Over Conversations
Dominating the conversation or interrupting others can make you appear rude and self-centered. Make sure you engage in balanced dialogue to ensure that everyone feels included. There’s plenty of time to chat with your friends one-on-one, but a dinner party needs to have a comfortable sense of balance.
Using Your Phone Constantly
Being glued to your phone can come off as disrespectful and disinterested. Engaging with those around you is a basic courtesy. Unless you’re a medic on call or have another good excuse, there’s no excuse to be on your handset at all. You won’t be invited back if you’re scrolling through TikTok all night. If you have to use it, do so responsibly.
Monopolizing the Host’s Attention
Your host has to entertain multiple guests. Hogging their attention prevents others from interacting and enjoying their company. Interact healthily but don’t attach yourself to their side like Velcro. It might come off as a bit weird.
Leaving Without Saying Goodbye
Slipping out without a word is fine when you’re 18 and at a house party. When you’re in someone’s home or at a hosted event, a vanishing act can seem dismissive. Properly thanking your host and saying goodbye shows respect and appreciation.
Ignoring Dress Codes
Has the host specified your evening attire? If so, stick to it unless you have good reason not to. Disregarding a specified dress code can make you stand out inappropriately. Dressing according to the occasion respects your host’s wishes and effort in planning. You don’t want to gain the wrong kind of attention.
Bringing Up Controversial Topics
Avoiding hot-button issues like politics or religion helps maintain a pleasant atmosphere. Equally, holding back on your controversial beliefs can cause unnecessary tension. Stirring up a debate can lead to uncomfortable situations and you might even find yourself being evicted. You don’t want to be that person.
Getting Too Drunk
Your host may well provide alcohol, but overindulging in alcohol can lead to embarrassing behavior and create problems. Moderation is key to being a pleasant guest. It’s fine to drink within your capability but don’t push it to the extremes.
Criticizing the Host’s Home
If you have any strong negative feelings about your host's home, keep them to yourself. Making comments about the décor, cleanliness, or size of your host’s home is both rude and hurtful. Be appreciative of their hospitality. Think what you like, just don’t verbalize it.
Not Thanking Your Host
Failing to express gratitude, either in person or with a follow-up note or message, shows a lack of appreciation for their efforts. Let them know that you appreciated the invite and had a great time. It doesn’t need to be a sycophantic essay, just a quick text will suffice.
Bringing Pets Without Permission
It’s highly unlikely anyone would do this, but just in case you’re thinking of bringing your beloved Labrador to dinner, think again. Arriving with pets without checking first can cause issues, especially if other guests have allergies or if the host’s home isn’t pet-friendly. Plus, you just don’t take an animal into someone else’s home for a dinner party.
Not Following House Rules
Ignoring rules like removing shoes or smoking outside shows disrespect for your host’s wishes and can cause unnecessary friction. Don’t spark up a cigarette at the table and refrain from helping yourself to their drink’s selection. Be polite and ask their permission. The worst they can say is no, but you’ve been polite enough to ask.
Leaving a Mess
Leaving your area untidy or not cleaning up after yourself creates extra work for your host. Spilled drinks or splattered food can be unpleasant to have to deal with, so tidy up before you go to show consideration. If your host refuses, that’s fine, at least they know you were willing.
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