Some parents think that giving their children everything they could ever want and protecting them from challenges, is the right thing to do. And it’s natural for parents to want their kids to have the best, to be happy, and comfortable.
But, some parents go too far and end up spoiling their children, which can actually have a detrimental effect on the development of the child, which can in turn lead to them failing as adults.
Parents Who Can’t Say No
Parents of failed adults usually have a hard time denying any of their children's wishes. This means that the child grows up to believe that everything they want will be granted to them easily. This does nothing to prepare someone for adulting in the real world and only hinders them.
Lack of Discipline
By teaching a child discipline, you are teaching them that there are consequences for their actions and showing them right from wrong. By not disciplining their kids, parents of failed adults are setting them up for failure, as the real world won’t tolerate bad behavior anywhere near as much as mum and dad did.
Spoilt Children
Spoilt children often grow up to struggle with being independent from their parents, this is because they have been trained to rely on getting all of their needs met by their parents, and without any encouragement to work for something, why would they?
No Boundaries
Parents who fail to set boundaries with their children, fail to help them learn the rules of the outside world. This means they can often get into trouble as adults by overstepping the mark in relationships, jobs, or social situations.
Zero Consequences
By not letting children experience the negative consequences of their bad behavior, parents are unwittingly, reinforcing it. This creates adults who think they can get away with anything, as they always have.
Bank- Rolling Their Children
Adults who rely on the bank of mum, and dad, have no real cause to stand on their own two feet as they know that their parents will always cover their bills, rent, and whatever they need.
Undermine Their Children’s Self-Confidence
By not encouraging children to explore the world by themselves, in small, supported ways, parents actually undermine their child's self-confidence, which can carry over into adulthood. It is healthy for kids to learn to earn things of their own accord, this helps them develop their self-esteem, sense of self, and confidence.
The Value of Money
While some parents make an effort to teach their kids the value of money by giving them chores, and pocket money in return, etc, parents of failed children often give money freely to their kids without demonstrating the hard work that went into earning it.
A Lack of Support
Sometimes parents might not realize it, but by not actively supporting, and encouraging their children's independence, this can lead to them feeling insecure about standing on their own two feet in the world.
A Good Work Ethic
By teaching a child about work ethic, you give that child skills that will support them for their entire life as an adult. That is unless, you don’t teach them any work ethic, and spoil them with limitless gifts, toys, and treats.
Wrapped in Cotton Wool
Keeping children wrapped in cotton wool, and not letting them face any fears, or challenges while they’re young, denies them the chance to experience a taste of what the real world can be like. This only serves to handicap them when they have to face these things as an adult as they may not have had the chance to develop vital coping skills.
They Treat Their Adult Kids Like Children
Parents who treat their adult kids like 10-year-old children, are not doing them any favors. By cooking all their meals, cleaning their house, and doing their laundry, you are denying them the chance to self-actualize as fully grown, independent adults.
They Criticize Their Kids
Criticizing children does little good, and a lot of harm. During childhood, this is when children's self-esteem and confidence are forming, and the world can be a very critical place, so if they are getting criticized at home too, this makes it doubly hard for them to feel confident as adults.
They Don’t Ask Them To Move Out
Some parents want to protect their kids from the harshness of the world, and thus encourage them to live at home for as long as possible. While this can have some positives, it can also rob adult children of their ability to live independently.
They Don’t Ask Them to Contribute
By not asking grown adult children who live at home to contribute to the household, parents aren’t teaching them anything about the reality of paying bills or managing the costs of running a home.
They Don’t Teach Them Life-Skills
A parent's main job is to protect their child, but also to prepare them for living in the real world. That’s why parents need to teach their kids how to cook, clean, do laundry, and chores. Parents who let their kids lie around on the couch all day are setting them up for failure.
They Don’t Teach Them Budgeting Skills
If you are sending your young adult child out into the world without any budgeting skills, and you haven't taught them about managing their finances, opening a bank account, and paying bills, then you shouldn’t expect them to survive for long away from mum and dad.
They Set Bad Examples
Many parents of failed adults have set some bad examples, whether it has been regarding unhealthy habits around drinking alcohol, drug use, managing finances, or engaging in criminal behavior, children mirror what they see, so if an adult child has failed, it might be because this is what they witnessed growing up.
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