Communication and honesty are pillars of a healthy relationship, but the truth is that your partner doesn’t need to know every little thought that passes through your mind. Just as important as it is to be truthful, it’s also deeply important to be kind. Words matter, especially when they come from the person you love the most, and they can’t be taken back. Here are 18 things you should never tell your significant other.
How Many Sexual Partners You’ve Had
They really don’t need or want to know this. Over the course of a long-term relationship, and depending on your dynamic, you may get comfortable enough to share certain funny anecdotes or stories, but the specific body count? That’s best to keep private.
You Hate Their Family
A partner’s family can be a tricky dynamic to walk into, and unfortunately sometimes we don’t have the best relationships with our in-laws. You can and should communicate with your partner about how certain individuals make you feel if they are behaving poorly, but you should never say you hate them as it will only drive a wedge between the two of you.
You Don’t Love Them
This is a relationship-ending statement. Never say this unless you mean it, and certainly never say it in the heat of the moment. That is something they will never be able to forget, and it will be very hard to come back from.
They Have No Right to Their Feelings
It’s okay to feel like your partner is reacting in a way that seems disproportionate or that you don’t understand, but you have no say in how they feel. Phrases like “You have no right to feel that way” are harmful and false. They can feel however they want, so you need to dig into the why.
That They Can’t Take a Joke
If your partner is offended by something you’ve said, the last thing you should do is blame them for not having a sense of humor. There is probably a valid reason why they feel that way, and rather than casting blame, you need to communicate about why this may have hurt them and how you can avoid it in the future.
You Have a Little Crush
It’s perfectly normal to have a crush on someone who isn’t your partner. What matters is whether you act on it or cross lines that you and your partner have set. If you think someone is attractive, there is no reason to tell your significant other. It will only serve to hurt them.
They Ruined Your Life
If you genuinely feel this way, you’re probably in the wrong relationship. If you feel in the heat of a fight or a rough patch that they have halted your thriving in some way, keep it to yourself and determine what good would come of sharing that.
They’re Stupid or Dumb
There are better ways to express to someone that you feel they made a poor decision, so you should never tell your partner they’re dumb. Saying such a thing will be a huge hit to their self-esteem.
How Other Sexual Partners Have Performed
Comparing your partner to other people you’ve had sex with is never appropriate. If you want something different in bed, you need to communicate it gently and positively. Tell them things like, “I really like it when…” rather than “I hate it when…”, and absolutely never say “[insert name here] did it better.”
They’re a Failure
This is just brutal and will show your partner that you have no respect for them. When respect goes in a relationship, there is nothing left. This will be deeply hurtful to hear and will shake their confidence a lot.
You Don’t Like Certain Physical Traits
If there is a part of your partner’s body you aren’t especially attracted to, that is 100% something that needs to be locked in a box forever. It hurts enough to have a stranger insult your appearance, so think about how much that would crush you to have the person who is supposed to be your biggest confidante tell you they don’t like something. They’d never look at themselves in the mirror the same way again.
You Settled
You chose to be with this person, so you really can’t blame anyone else if you feel like the relationship has held you back in life. You are the one who needs to take accountability for your own life.
You’ll Leave Them
Threatening to leave someone in an effort to get some control over the situation is deeply manipulative and can be considered abuse. It’s not a healthy tactic to have your partner be so afraid of you leaving that they will behave however they think you want.
They’re Too Emotional
It can be tough to deal with someone extremely emotional, but there are better ways to work through this. The bottom line is that they are who they are, and you probably fell in love with them, in part, due to how emotional they are in the good, warm ways.
You Wish You’d Never Met
This is a cruel thing to say that your partner will probably never be able to forget. In the heat of the moment, we often say things we don’t mean, but if you’re feeling like that, you need to take a beat and calm down before speaking words that can’t be unsaid.
You Should’ve Been with Your Ex
Yikes. Being compared to your partner’s ex is not fun, and it will only instill doubt in the relationship that can lead to a lot of pain. If this is the person you choose to be with, you need to accept them for who they are.
They’re Too Clingy
If you really do feel this way, that’s okay, but there are other, kinder ways to express it. Instead of using the word “clingy”, try to be gentle and frame it in how you need your alone time, and it has nothing to do with how much you love them. If they’re unable to take this, that’s another story.
Nothing
Radio silence, especially after a fight, can be more agonizing than any words you could throw at them. You never want to leave your partner in the dark, wondering what you’re thinking and where your relationship stands. Healthy communication is the only way to feel safe.
30 Traditional Sayings That Are Now Considered Offensive by Woke Culture
30 Traditional Sayings That Are Now Considered Offensive by Woke Culture
21 Habits Often Associated With Having a Lower Social Status
21 Habits Often Associated With Having a Lower Social Status
25 Social Issues Gen Z are Determined to Cancel
