It’s easy to mistake obsession for deep affection, and there's a fine line between the two. While it's normal to frequently think about someone you care about, an obsession is something different entirely and can take over your life in unhealthy ways. Understanding the difference and recognizing the signs is the first step you can take if you suspect your emotions are in overdrive. You can stop extreme thinking; you just need to know how. Here are 18 signs you might be obsessed with someone.
Constantly Checking Their Social Media
If you’re scrolling through someone's social media profiles every ten minutes, you need to address your behavior. It's fine to stay updated, but obsessively scrolling through every post to see what they’re doing is worrying. To stop yourself from going down this rabbit hole, be stricter with how often you visit their profile.
Overanalyzing Their Texts
Do you spend hours dissecting their every message? A text is a text, so try not to read too much into it. If you find yourself obsessing over the tone, punctuation, and the fact that they sent it at 11:04 pm and not 11 pm, you’re probably reading too much into things. Step back and take it at face value.
Needing Constant Reassurance
Do you constantly need to hear them confessing their undying love for you? If so, that's a clear sign of obsession. Everyone likes validation, but not all the time. Trust is important in any healthy relationship, and frequently seeking reassurance shows a lack thereof. It’s also likely to deter them.
Neglecting Other Relationships
If you’ve started ignoring friends and family to spend more time with this person, take a moment to address the reason. Healthy relationships need to enhance your life, not isolate you from those you love. Make sure you keep up with your social life for a healthier state of mind.
Stalking Behavior
Another major warning sign is if you've resorted to following them in real life or online, as you're convinced that they're up to something. Behavior of this nature crosses boundaries and invades their privacy. You need to respect their personal space and address the reason for your concerns. Remember, stalking can also have serious legal consequences.
Extreme Jealousy
Feeling jealous occasionally is normal, but extreme envy isn't conducive to a healthy relationship. If you burn with rage when you see them talking to others, it’s a huge sign of insecurity. Extreme jealousy is likely to destroy your relationship, so it’s important to address these feelings and understand their root cause.
Constantly Thinking About Them
It’s normal to dwell on someone you like, and new loves can take up a great deal of our thinking time. With that being said, someone dominating your thoughts 24/7 is unhealthy. It’ll distract you from work, hobbies, and other important aspects of life, so you need to try and find some balance. Make sure you engage in other activities and give your mind a break.
Trying to Control Their Life
If you feel the need to control who they see, what they do, or how they act, it’s a sign of obsession. Everyone deserves to live as they choose, and trying to control someone's life is a sign of deeper issues. Try to focus on controlling your own actions and reactions instead.
Losing Interest in Your Own Life
If you’ve stopped thinking about your own life and become caught up in theirs, you’re overthinking and it's time to take a step back. You need to maintain your own interests and hobbies, and your partner must do so, too. Losing yourself to someone else will only lead to resentment and loss of identity.
Overreacting to Small Things
If minor issues or misunderstandings feel like the end of the world, this can be a red flag. Overreacting to trivial matters can cause unnecessary drama and stress. It’s important to try and stay calm and rational in relationships.
Overcommitting Too Soon
Moving too fast in a relationship without getting to know the person properly can indicate obsession. Try to slow things down and move at a steadier rate. Doing so allows you to see things more clearly. Remember that building a strong foundation takes time. Overcommitting leads to heartache if things don’t work out.
Prioritizing Their Needs Over Yours
It’s important to be considerate, but if you’re always putting their needs above your own, you’re moving into unhealthy territory. Balance is essential, and you need to take care of yourself, too. Prioritizing your own needs and engaging in other things that make you happy is much healthier.
Feeling Anxious When Not Together
Feeling constant anxiety when you're not with them is uncomfortable, and it’s not maintainable. You’ll always have periods apart, so it’s important to feel secure whether you’re together or not. Independence is healthy, and your anxiety indicates a lack of trust or self-confidence.
Constantly Trying to Impress Them
Everyone likes to impress a partner, but if you’re constantly going out of your way to impress them, you’re seeking their approval too much. It is important to be yourself and not lose sight of your identity. Trying too hard to impress will lead to exhaustion and disappointment.
Ignoring Red Flags
It’s never good to ignore bad behavior just to keep them around. It’s important to recognize and address issues to avoid things becoming toxic. Ignoring red flags can lead to bigger problems down the road. Put yourself first for once and respect your morals.
Feeling Worthless Without Them
Your partner does not define you, and they never should. Believing that your worth is tied to their presence in your life isn’t healthy. Remember that you’re valuable on your own, and work on building your self-esteem to be independent of others. Feeling worthless without them shows a great need for personal growth.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Constantly comparing yourself to their friends or exes is a sign of insecurity. No two relationships are the same, and just because your friend is getting married doesn’t mean that you should be. Focus on your strengths and enjoy the journey. Comparisons lead to jealousy and self-doubt.
Fantasizing About a Perfect Future
Everyone is guilty of fantasizing about a new partner to a degree, but if you’re always daydreaming about an ideal future together, it might be a sign of obsession. Try to stay grounded in reality, and take things one step at a time.
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