It’s not always easy for people to find their footing in social situations, but having blatantly bad manners is a surefire way to get people to dislike you. It’s important to show a certain level of etiquette as a sign of respect to those around you, and a lack of manners can often show up as being inconsiderate and rude. Here are 18 signs that you’re falling flat in the etiquette department and how you can improve.
Cutting People Off in Conversation
A lot of people tend to justify interrupting someone because they are worried about losing their thought. Honestly, too bad. It’s very rude, and it essentially says, “What I am saying is more important than what you are saying.”
Not Asking People About Themselves
It’s essential to not allow people to continue asking about you and your life without returning the favor. This allows people to open up and share and makes them feel like you value them in some way. It’s scientifically shown that asking follow-up questions increases your likability.
Being on Your Phone When People are Talking to You
This is a blatant sign of disrespect. If you’re disinterested in what the person is saying, suck it up for a short period rather than going to your phone for better entertainment. It’s better to walk away after an appropriate amount of time than to ignore the person standing in front of you.
Not Holding Doors
How long you hold a door or how close someone has to be for you to hold the door is up to your discretion, but letting it slam right in a person’s face is a good place to draw a line. However, we all know how awkward it is when someone holds a door for you from too far away, and you have to do that awkward jog to get to them.
Talking About Someone in Front of Them
This can make a person feel truly invisible and be very hurtful. It goes beyond a lack of courtesy and can even feel like a personal attack. Never speak about someone as if they’re not there; rather, address them directly.
Snubbing RSVP Requests
Ignoring someone’s request for your presence is often read as a way of telling someone their event is not worth enough to you to even bother denying. Always respond to such requests as soon as possible so hosts have adequate time to plan their event.
Being Unnecessarily Loud in Public
It’s very distracting when you’re trying to work, relax, or have a conversation and the people around you are laughing or talking extremely loudly. There are certain environments where this is acceptable, but that is on a case-by-case basis, and in general, you should adhere to a certain volume that does not disrupt people trying to enjoy their day.
Not Having Table Manners
A lack of basic table manners is very disruptive to the people around you. This can include chewing with your mouth open, being on your phone, talking while eating, reaching across someone else’s plate, and more. Some of these acts can gross people out while they’re enjoying a meal, and some can just come across as rude.
Invading Personal Space
Lots of people are very protective of their space, whether it be due to trauma, germs, or just a preference. As humans, we actually have an innate need for personal space due to our evolution. It’s a tactic to protect ourselves from bodily harm. Regardless of the reason, personal space should be revered as a basic human right, so it’s incredibly important to respect other people’s bubbles and not cross boundaries that may make them uncomfortable.
Not Saying “Please” and “Thank You”
These two simple terms can go so far to show someone that you respect them. Such small words can really give someone faith in humanity that they perhaps felt they were losing. It reminds them that you genuinely appreciate what they do, no matter how small it may seem.
Refusing to Give Up a Seat for Someone Who Needs It
Ignoring someone who needs to sit down more than you, like a pregnant, disabled, or elderly person, shows a lack of empathy for other people’s situations. The gesture of giving that seat to someone who actually needs it demonstrates consideration and true kindness because you’re putting them before you.
Ignoring Thoughtful Messages
This can be a little gray because sometimes, when someone is suffering a tragic loss, they are flooded with messages of love and support and just don’t have the capacity to respond to them. If you are emotionally capable of letting someone know what their thoughtfulness means to you, though, try to do so.
Having Poor Hygiene
On top of this just being bad for your health, having poor hygiene can be incredibly inconvenient and bothersome to those around you. If they have to smell you because you haven’t showered or brushed your teeth, they will definitely not want to be around you. Take care to clean yourself up to an acceptable level so you’re not negatively impacting the people you spend time in proximity to.
Talking Over Someone
Talking over a person who is trying to tell a story or share their thoughts palpably shows that you don’t respect them and you value your words over theirs. It’s an essential social skill to know how to maneuver conversations and wait your turn to speak up without shutting someone else down to make it happen.
Disregarding Lines
Lines and queues are a universally accepted form of order, and disregarding them throws a lot off balance. Cutting in front of someone else in line demonstrates carelessness about their time and shows arrogance and self-centeredness.
Failing to Introduce Someone in Social Settings
This can actually create really awkward situations wherein someone either has to stay silent while you converse with a stranger or randomly pipe up and announce themselves. Neither are good options, but you can very easily say, “By the way, this is my friend X.” It takes five seconds and will make everyone more comfortable.
Playing Loud Music in Public
Whether it be on a hike, at the gym, or on public transportation, it’s important to respect that other people have their own ideas about what sort of auditory environment they want to be in. They could want total silence to focus or could be listening to something themselves that your music is interfering with. In order to have a civilized society, we need to wear headphones and keep the noise we emit down to a minimum so other people can do what they like as well.
Being Unable to Show Accountability
The ability to apologize and take responsibility when you’ve done something wrong is an important skill to have. It’s a way to foster relationships with others and build trust. Being unable to do this comes across like you think you’re perfect and will make people see you as arrogant and dishonest.
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