Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by certain individuals to make their partner doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. It's a form of psychological control that can be extremely damaging to one's mental health and well-being, and it can take years for an individual to even realize that they’ve been a recipient of gaslighting. Here are 18 gaslighting phrases commonly used in relationships that should serve as a red flag.
You're Just Being Too Sensitive

When a person tells you you're being too sensitive, they're undermining your feelings and, essentially, accusing you of overreacting. Sometimes in life, we can all be a bit overly sensitive, and that's perfectly normal. When someone repeats the phrase regularly, you might well find that you're dealing with a gaslighter.
Sometimes, we are overly sensitive in life, and it's perfectly normal. When the phrase is repeated regularly, it invalidates the other person's feelings, making them doubt the legitimacy of their emotions. It undermines their right to express themselves and can lead to self-doubt and emotional confusion.
You're Just Being Insecure

This phrase begs the question, what’s wrong with feeling a bit insecure? It happens to all of us from time to time and should never be invalidated. Gaslighters often exploit their victims' insecurities as a way to manipulate and control them, placing any relationship issues firmly on their shoulders. It undermines confidence and damages self-esteem.
You're Just Being Paranoid

Over time, this phrase can easily make an individual doubt their credibility. By dismissing the other person's concerns as paranoia, the gaslighter undermines their perception of reality and makes them doubt their own judgment. It can be terrifying for someone on the receiving end, sending them into a downward spiral about the state of their mental health.
You're Imagining Things

By denying something that was said or done, the gaslighter makes an individual question their memory and perception of reality. This can bring on feelings of confusion and self-doubt.
You're Overreacting

We’re all guilty of overreacting or overdramatizing at times, and that’s perfectly normal, but too much use of this phrase trivializes the other person's emotions and reactions. It invalidates their feelings and experiences leading them to question the validity of their responses.
You're Just Trying To Play The Victim

This can be one of the biggest red flags. Gaslighters often accuse their victims of playing the victim to deflect responsibility for their actions. It can easily make an individual feel guilty for simply expressing their feelings. It's the gaslighter that is playing the victim.
You're Crazy

This classic gaslighting tactic undermines an individual’s sanity and credibility. It's a serious form of psychological manipulation that serves to make the recipient doubt their mental stability and can easily lead to self-esteem issues.
You're Imagining Things

Gaslighters often try to make their victims believe that they’re being delusional and summoning distorted ideas out of thin air. It’s the quickest way for an individual to start doubting their sanity until the lines between reality and imagination are blurred. Sadly, that’s precisely what a gaslighter wants to happen.
You're Just Making Things Up

Hearing this phrase repeatedly undermines an individual’s credibility and makes them question their logic, memory, and perception of reality. It's a form of gaslighting aimed at controlling the narrative and deflecting responsibility.
You're Always So Dramatic

We’re entitled to speak up about the things that concern us, but gaslighters often use this phrase to dismiss the other person's emotions and reactions as exaggerated or over-the-top. It undermines the victim's right to express themselves and can make them feel deeply ashamed of their feelings.
You're Just Trying To Start An Argument

Gaslighters often accuse their victims of starting arguments as a way of deflecting responsibility for their own bad behavior. It’s perfectly understandable why the recipient chooses not to speak up in the future for fear of being accused of causing problems. The sad truth is that the real blame lies with the gaslighter.
You're Being Difficult

Gaslighters will label their victims as difficult as a way of manipulating and controlling them. The recipient's sense of self-worth dissolves and can make them doubt their own judgment.
You're Too Sensitive And No One Else Has A Problem With Me

This is a common phrase used by controlling and coercive individuals, and it’s nothing but a deflection tactic. Clearing themselves of blame by stating that the recipient is the only one with the problem is a cunning way of undermining their confidence and making them doubt the validity of their concerns. The chances are that no one else sees this side of them which further validates their statement.
You’re Twisting My Words

When a gaslighter demonstrates a controlling tactic, a recipient may seek to understand the reason behind it. It is common to be met with denial, or an accusation of twisting words to manipulate a situation. The irony is that the gaslighter is the only one doing the manipulating. It can lead to feelings of confusion and doubt.
I Was Joking

It’s a cruel tactic but a common one, nonetheless. A gaslighter will attempt to underplay a comment by laughing it off, regardless of how it makes someone feel. The recipient can start to think they’re over-dramatizing and need to work on their sense of humor. In truth, controlling behavior is wrong whether it’s meant in jest or not.
You’re So Insecure

Gaslighters often exploit their victim's insecurities to manipulate and control them. By accusing the victim of being insecure, the gaslighter undermines their confidence and makes them doubt their own judgment. It can be terrifying to feel as though we have deep-rooted issues when, in fact, the gaslighter is manipulating a situation.
You Need Help

Telling someone they need help is a surefire way of making them feel like they have mental health issues. In healthy relationships, when someone we care for demonstrates erratic behavior, we take them aside and tentatively encourage them to open up about their feelings. Using their mental health as a form of attack is gaslighting, and often an untruth.
You Know You Need Me

This phrase opens up the need for total dependency and belittles the recipient’s sense of agency over their own life. It acts as a means of preventing them from leaving the relationship and often works to in doing so. It is a coercive play on insecurities and a fear of being alone.
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