The term “feminist” can be seen in both a positive and negative light, and it has also changed over time. If it were not for feminists who came before, women would not have the opportunities that they do. Feminists are independent and do things for themselves. Although they don’t need men, most still want to be loved, just like everyone else. Are feminists capable of being happy in a marriage? These are reasons that perhaps they should stay solo.
Concentrating on Their Careers
Women have fought very hard to be in the workplace. It isn’t as easy for a woman to climb the corporate ladder these days. Getting married and having children can knock them off of the rung at a critical time. Women who want to build a career should focus on their aspirations if that is what they want instead of feeling like marriage is a must in childbearing years.
Poor Past Relationships
Relationships are hard to maintain and nourish. Women who have given all that they have in previous relationships are not ready to throw themselves back in the ring. If you have breakup after breakup, staying single might be a preferable way to live your life. Having too many bad experiences might deter women from wanting a relationship for their future.
Less Than Stellar Childhoods
Not everyone has the best upbringing or the best relationships with their parents. When you have a childhood that is marred by dysfunction, you might not want to repeat the cycle. It can be difficult for women who have not had positive role models to want to raise children, and that is okay. Women should not feel as if it is their responsibility to have children. No one should have kids if that is not their dream.
Marriage is a Patriarchal Institution
The entire premise of marriage is that women take a husband, and they are no longer their own person. Throughout history, when a woman got married, they lost their name, their property, and everything belonged to the man. Now, women are supporting themselves, and marriage is only a construct that puts them at a financial disadvantage.
Financial Woes
Weddings are extremely expensive, even when you try to tone them down. And when they do get married, they have to give half of theirs to their other half. Most women work harder for their money than their male counterparts, and although you get half of your husband's potential earnings and savings, what women have earned means something to them.
Divorce is Real
The divorce rate in the US is 40% or more, which means that nearly half of the population in America has dealt with at least one divorce. Divorce can be very destructive to the family unit. Those who felt the sting of watching their parents not get along might decide that there isn’t any reason to risk the same thing happening. Relationships can differ according to what two people want, and that doesn’t necessarily mean marriage.
Independence
Independent people like having the freedom to do their own thing and never have to ask for permission. A woman who can pay for herself and take care of all aspects of her life might not be willing to sacrifice by thinking about the needs of another person. That isn’t selfish; it is a lifestyle choice. For those who want to make it on their own, go for it.
Self-Discovery
The twenties and thirties are a time when women are out on their own, making a living and finding their place in the world. If you marry while still finding yourself, you might never make it to the end of the journey. Many who get married and start a family go straight from their parent's home to being a wife and or mother and never discover who they are and what they want. It is okay to postpone a wedding or even not get married; it is a choice.
Mental Health Needs
Some people just enjoy their distance and time alone. Many are okay dating someone with no intent to someday combine homes or make it official. If you are in a committed and stable relationship, then being committed should be enough without the legal ties. If you choose to date around, or perhaps not date at all, then you have the freedom to do so without reprisal or judgment.
Non-Traditional Role Expectations
Not everyone dreams of a white picket fence and a happily forever after with the same partner. A long-term commitment is not something that everyone wants or needs. If household chores, doing the laundry and the dishes, and being a wife and mother are not something that you want in your life, then don’t. The only expectations you should have for yourself are the ones that you want for yourself.
Focusing on Children
More and more women are choosing to have children out of wedlock. Whether that means adopting or going through IVF, families look nontraditional in today’s world. Women who have not met the right partner but are ready to start a family might never meet the right man. It is okay to decide that children are what you want, and if a man is not in your picture, it is still a family.
Ideological Beliefs
Some women are strong with their beliefs and unwilling to yield or sacrifice them for the sake of appeasing others. Not everyone sees marriage as a way to cohabitate or as necessary to commit to someone. For those who believe that relationships are about honesty and trust, having a paper to prove your relationship might not be anything more than placating the system. If you are secure in your relationship, that is all you need.
Religious Beliefs
Not everyone subscribes to the same religion, and various religions view marriage in a different light. When a woman is either not religious at all or religious to a high degree, they might have staunch opinions about what that means and the sanctity of it. Those not willing to abide by a religious ideology might choose to be single by design. Making that choice is your right as a woman and human being.
Freedom
A loving relationship takes commitment and obligation to work. Not everyone wants to have the additional responsibilities that being in a marriage requires. If someone is just fine doing things on their own and doesn’t want to be beholden to another human, that is their prerogative.
Sharing Space
Not everyone wants to share a home with another person. Women who like things a particular way, their refrigerator items to never be touched, and have full control of the remote control might want to live on their own forever, and there is nothing wrong with that. Just because society has placed a marriage value, that doesn’t mean that it is ideal for everyone or what every woman wants.
Living in Different Places
Couples sometimes necessarily have to live in different locations. Whether it is because one partner has to live near school or work and the other is somewhere else, marriage might not be feasible or desirable for those who aren’t willing to commute or inconvenience themselves to live together. Long-distance relationships are difficult, but uprooting yourself to please someone else might not be what you necessarily want to do.
Legally Burned
Most people have seen firsthand what divorce does to the entire family unit. Unfortunately, women tend to be hit harder by financial disaster in a divorce. When you take one household and make it two, you lose a lot. With so many women seeing the fallout of their parents and their mother’s hardships, it is easy to see why many women are deciding to stay single and go it alone.
Should Feminists Get Married?
Feminism is a term that means that women are equal to men. It can be viewed both positively and negatively. But feminism means that a woman can take care of herself, can navigate the world alone, and she can do anything a man does. Many women, feminist or not, are choosing to both delay marriage and not get married at all. It is a choice that every woman and man should have. The white picket fence and happily ever after is not for everyone; some people do well all on their own, and if that is what they want, that is what they should do.
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