17 Clues That Suggest You Can’t Totally Trust Your Partner

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The definition of a healthy partnership rests in the trust that you have for one another. When it comes to love, however, what people say and what they do can vary greatly. It is always an excellent idea to pay more attention to someone’s behaviors over their words. Even though they have committed themselves to you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have for real. These are signs that your partner might not be as trustworthy as they make themselves out to be. 

Future Talk is Limited

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Regardless of what someone tells you about their future intentions, the way that they speak about it is going to be the biggest telltale sign about where you stand. It is also a great indicator of where your relationship is headed. If they rarely speak about a future together, then you can probably safely assume that you might not be in theirs very long.


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One of the biggest telltale signs that your partner isn’t trustworthy is if they cheat. If someone has committed to a relationship, then you have the right to assume that they will be faithful. When someone doesn’t respect you enough to be monogamous, that speaks volumes about their care and concern for you.

Being Secretive

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People who are in a relationship should make one another feel respected, and that includes being honest. When someone is secretive, there is a reason. They’re trying to keep something from you. A healthy relationship requires that there is honesty and trust, and if someone is acting like they are keeping something from you, you can safely assume they are. Your gut is almost always right.

They’re Not There for You 

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A part of being in a trusting relationship is knowing that the person you are with has your back and will be there when you need them. If your partner finds the exit the moment that things go awry, that doesn’t say much. Someone whom you can’t trust to be there when you need them isn’t going to provide you with the safety that you need for the long term.

They Keep Things From You

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If someone is telling you that they didn’t tell you something for your own good, that is not a trustworthy sign. When partners want to get away with doing something they know isn’t right, they will often omit it. Then, when you call them out for it, their quick go-to is, “I didn’t lie.” Not telling someone something is tantamount to lying about it.

They Rarely Use Your Name

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Your significant other should use your name when they talk about you. If they rarely use your name in conversation, that can be a sign that they have more than just you on their mind. Often, someone who is untrustworthy will keep things vague. It is harder to get caught when facts, names, and places are fuzzy at best. 

They’re Always Busy

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Most adults are busy with work, friendships, and day-to-day, but to be in a loving and secure relationship, you have to make your partner a priority. If you can’t seem to get ten minutes of their time, that is an indication of how important you and your feelings are. You shouldn’t have to drop everything when your partner wants to hang out, but you also shouldn’t have to schedule time or never get any.

They Play the Blame Game

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For a relationship to survive and build trust, two people have to take responsibility for their actions and the part that they play. It takes two people to argue and fight, and there are usually two sides to every story, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. If you have to take the blame for everything, then there is a good chance you can’t trust them with your heart. 

They are Selfish

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People who are selfish and have no room for anyone but themselves are difficult to trust and be in a healthy relationship. Couples need to have some sense of more than just “I” and try to get their own needs met. If your partner is making your relationship all about them, then it is all about them, and you are entirely replaceable in their mind. 

Their Behaviors Have Changed

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If a partner switches things up in a relationship, that is a good indication that things have changed, and you might not be able to fully trust what they have to say. When behaviors change and are no longer predictable, then they are likely not trustworthy either. Only people who follow through with what they say deserve the trust you give to them.

You Feel it in Your Gut

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Your “gut” is a part of you that is there to warn you of dangers. If your gut tells you something, it is never a good idea to ignore it. That little voice inside your head is usually the truest whether we want to hear it or not. When your head is telling you something, even if it doesn’t make sense, heed the warning.

They Don’t Invite You Out

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Relationships are about more than just two people. Their success often relies on having support from family and friends. If your partner hasn’t given you the courtesy of introducing you to the people in their world, like coworkers and friends, that is a huge red flag. Keeping two different lives in a relationship is usually a sign that you are keeping things separate for a reason.

You’ve Caught Them in a Lie

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Fool me once; shame on me. Fool me twice; shame on me. People usually don’t just tell one lie. If you have caught your partner in a lie, no matter how insignificant it is, it is usually just the tip of the iceberg. Granted, someone might tell a little white lie to save you from getting your feelings hurt, but if you caught them lying, then proceed with caution going forward.

You Keep Breaking Up

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Couples that break up do so for a reason. That reason is usually that either it is the wrong time or it is the wrong two people. It isn’t that two people can’t argue and decide to put some distance between one another for a break period, but if you and your partner break up perpetually, then there is no way to establish trust. Every time you call it quits instead of staying and working on making it work speaks volumes about the trust you both have. It isn’t healthy to be in a rollercoaster relationship, and it might be time to get off. 

Your Family Doesn’t Like Them

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Your family loves you and wants to see you happy. If there is growing concern that many of the people in your life don’t like the person you are with, there is probably a reason why. Sometimes, those who love you most see what you aren’t willing to or can’t. Since love is blind, don’t be blinded. Listen to those who care about you.

They Talk Badly Behind Your Back

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Couples are supposed to be able to trust that they will have one another’s back. That means if you need defending, your partner should be your number one champion. Taking it one step further by not only not protecting you but talking behind your back is a sure sign that you should not trust them. What people say behind your back is how they really feel, whether you want to accept it or not.

They Break Your Trust

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In a relationship, you should never have to say, “What I am saying is just between us,” it should be an assumption of trust. If your partner betrays your trust by telling other people things that were just for their knowledge and ears, then they are not trustworthy. Telling people things that aren’t their story to tell is a betrayal that can’t sustain a trustful relationship.

Red Flags Stand Out for a Reason

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People who love one another want things to work and are often willing to look the other way and see and hear what they want. If you have a feeling that the person you thought you could trust might not be so trustworthy, listen to that little voice inside. It usually knows all that you need to about the person you want to be with forever. 

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